Some days I shouldn't wake up.

This is a fucking pessimist view of mostly everything, but sometimes bad days seem to never end (and they go all toghether by the hand). I feel like I have a special talent to mess everything up and lose control, and that's too often. How the hell can be people that liar, thoughtless about others, and a very long etc of things that people are?

I mean, lying is such a bad thing to do. Really. Everyone can say little lies but wtf, you can not go lying about obvious things. Because they're obvious! Shit! I'm so confused, outraged, shit. And that's why I can lose control that way, and why I get so anxious, so angry and with panic attacks that come and go whenever and wherever they want.


I want to see you. I need to meet you. Now. I can't wait anymore.

As I said...I was over excited, and finally it was nothing.

He wasn't anywhere he was supposed to be, cellphone off...holy shit! for a cool conversation I could have had...bah, I knew it would happen, haha.

Today I went to A3 class. My teacher speaks too much and sometimes is kinda difficult to listen, but I like her classes. Sometimes I think she's got a lot of things to tell, and the feeling she gives me is that she's kind of an intellectual about literature. She says things that, in fact, are true. Most writers lie about everything, and they tend to be autobiographical at their writings. I could never pull my life apart when writing, but I guess it's obvious, because we need to write about something we know...or so I guess. Even if it was in another universe, there will always be something familiar.

I've got a headache, and everytime I eat I feel sick again. This evening my students had the story one test, so I had to test other's students...and later go back to my classroom, and they were all noisy and excited, and I don't know why, because most of them failed...and then my one to one class was soooo boring and it was terribly hot in the office...and my head was on clouds as usual, thinking about something so far away from there...

Tonight I'll sleep alone :( I had a lot of plans for tomorrow, but I have to go to uni to do a group project...

At last I could make it work...after the whole morning ¬¬

I spent a bad night. I woke up 10 minutes late. I spent too much time having breakfast. There was traffic jam in the c-58 when I drove Tina home. There wasn't any fucking place to park the fucking car in the fucking UAB's parking lot. The result: I haven't gone to classes this morning. Instead of this I went to the bank. I had to line up for the cashier. My bankbook was complete so I had to line up at the banker's desk too. I spent 30 minutes on this, and I was the only one that was under 40 in the bank. The cashier broke. I came home, and made lunch, and it was tasteless. I wonder if this evening is going to happen something good...or if children will go crazy at classes and I'll run away, or if it will rain again like yesterday (it seemed I was saling instead of driving).

I've spent some days feeling kinda bad. I thought I had the flu (and I started freaking out because I can't miss work, I mean, I CAN'T MISS a single hour of work because I run out of money very easily...always), but I've been feeling better this last two days. But last night, again, I was all dizzy, like when you're retarded drunk and you can't even walk (you can only laugh your ass off or cry like an idiot).

Anyway, I'll leave the disgusting stuff apart. Today I'm working the whole evening, which is good, but it's bad because I have to take the car and drive like 20km in the rush hour in 35 minutes.

I'm really excited about something not even planned (that happens to me a lot, and then I'm all depressed because I think too much and too fast about almost everything). Maybe it will change my life's direction....